Heartbreak can be almost physically painful. The healing process takes time. You can’t simply wish your grief away. But it’s important that you keep it in perspective – your grief will pass. Just because you and your ex didn’t work out doesn’t mean your life will now be endless suffering. You need to be strong through the break-up process, accept your grief for what it is and move forward in a healthy manner. It’s easy to fall into routines of bad habits that make you feel temporarily better, but these habits can actually sabotage the healing process. Here are 4 habits you should never give into following a breakup:

Maintaining Contact

When the one person you shared part of your life with is plucked away, it feels extremely unnatural. The thought of not speaking with them for a while can be haunting. Many combat this grief by maintaining some sort of contact. Whether they want to “remain friends” or initiate a “no-strings-attached” relationship, they’re only prolonging the pain of their truly intimate separation. They may even find themselves wanting to remedy a relationship that was toxic; thus going through the breakup process all over again. It’s better that you remove your ex from your life the best you can and learn to be happy without them if you want to heal. The sooner you let go of them, the sooner you’ll be able to let go of the grief.

Denial

Denying your grief is prolonging your grief. You try to tell yourself that you are fine even though you’ve lost someone special in your life and it’s highly likely you are not fine. Denial of any problem is retroactive.

Dating Again Too Soon

Many can’t handle the thought of being without a romantic partner. As opposed to feeling lonely or dealing with the grief of their last breakup, they’ll throw themselves into the dating world before they’re ready. Dating apps have become extremely popular – a ready service to immediately connect with new potential partners. If you are still grieving your breakup, bear in mind that you’re not your best self. This is the time you should be caring for yourself, continuing to function and taking steps toward self-progression. Dating a new partner or attempting to rekindle a flame with an old ex is only a temporary fix for your grief. Reality is, this might just create a new problem.

Not Taking Accountability

If you are going through the grieving process but blaming your partner for everything, you’re actually losing an opportunity for self-growth. It is a pretty natural reaction to blame them for the end of your relationship. They may have done a lot in harming it. But at this point, that doesn’t matter. If you want to conduct a relationship autopsy, you don’t always have to deem yourself fully blameless. This is an opportunity to evaluate what role you may have played in the dissolution of the relationship.