Even the strongest of personalities find the holidays to be extremely emotional after a divorce. There’s a lot you can do for yourself to cope with the holiday season after a divorce, but it’s also important to remember that your children are likely dealing with a lot of emotions too. The breakup of a family dynamic can be extremely jarring for them, as well as a change in holiday traditions. A divorce can drastically alter how a child develops and matures, so maintaining a semblance of happiness – especially during the holiday season – is crucial for their wellbeing. Here are some tips to help your children out in coping with their first holiday seasons following your divorce:

1. Make sure that you take care of the schedule ahead of time so your children aren’t left wondering what their holidays will be like. They deserve time to look forward to their holiday plans. The suspense is a part of their holiday cheer.
2. If you are having trouble with your ex-spouse figuring out your children’s holiday schedules or other holiday logistics, make sure that you don’t argue in front of your children. Shield them from any conflict. If they witness you and your ex-spouse fighting over them, it may just ruin their holiday cheer.
3. Be honest with your children. Let them know that the holidays will be different. It’s better that they understand the changes as opposed to being taken by surprise.
4. Remember that you are a model for your children. If they witness you in a slump, it’ll likely be hard for them to try and enjoy the holidays as well. Set an example for them. Show them that you are moving on with your life, and that change can be a good thing.
5. Help get both your mind and your children’s mind off of your divorce and back on the holidays. Spend some time together watching holiday movies that you enjoy. Try to watch holiday movies that you haven’t watched with your children and your ex-spouse to avoid any emotional triggers.
6. Create some new traditions with your children and allow your children to contribute ideas. This will create new, authentic traditions that your children will remember having with you.
7. Finally, remember that the holiday seasons aren’t all about material items. It’s more about the connection of family. Your children need your time, your attention, and your emotional presence more than they need to be showered with gifts. Your emotional presence is better than presents.