When divorce is imminent, it’s easy to be swept away in the negative emotions of it all. You may fear the process of divorce, the anxiety of being alone, and the fear that you may be alone for the rest of your life. You may be wondering how your divorce will impact your children, your finances, and your future in general. These are all extremely common fears – even when you’re in a toxic marriage.

But it’s important to remember that a divorce is way better than staying in an unhealthy relationship. Here are 11 reasons divorce is a positive, life-changing alternative in comparison to staying in an unhealthy marriage…

While Marriage May Give You A Sense Of Security, Divorce Gives You A New Lease On Life

Yes, it’s easy to rationalize the thought that you’re better off staying in a marriage – even if it’s not right – because of that sense of security you feel. But is it worth your happiness? The true love of your life could be out there while you’re chained down in a marriage that’s causing you unhappiness. Divorce, as scary as it can be, is a transition. It’s a new lease on life. You now have the ability to make different choices.

“Staying in a bad marriage can provide security because at least you know how your life will go. But getting a divorce gives you hope ― the hope to be who you want to be, the hope to be happy and the hope to find someone else to love.” ― Barry Gold

Being A Single Parent Is Better Than Exemplifying Unhealthy Relationships

Children learn vicariously through their parents what love, respect, and caring should entail. They’ll likely emulate how you and your spouse act toward one another when it comes to their own relationships, especially if they are young and impressionable. By displaying negative emotions toward your spouse (or vice-versa), you’re normalizing this behavior in the eyes of your children. The last thing you should want for your child is for them to misunderstand what true love in a relationship looks like.

“If you’re a parent with young kids, getting a divorce is better than staying in a bad marriage because these are formative years for them. They will likely seek out and emulate the types of relationships they see modeled. I want my relationships to be happy, healthy and mutually respectful, so that my children never settle for anything else in their own lives.” ― Lindsey Light 

Divorce Clears The Road For Meeting The Right Partner

It may take a while to heal emotionally after a divorce. You might throw your heart in a cage and be overly protective of it. But eventually, feelings of mistrust and low self-esteem do dissipate. It may take some counseling to regain perspective on your own life and learn to love yourself again. But as long as you put the work in, you will heal. And this clears the road for a new relationship. Your true love could be waiting out there, and staying in a bad marriage will just prevent you from ever meeting them. It’s better to get over the fear of starting over and, when you’re ready, getting back into the dating world. This time around, you’ll be more conscientious of what you’re looking for in a significant other.

“Divorce is painful but it’s kind of like pulling off a Band-Aid: The anticipation is horrible but once it’s over, it’s pure relief. Bonus: It allows you the freedom to meet the person you were meant to be with!” ― Al Corona 

A Hostile Home Is Worse For Your Children Than A Divorce

Growing up in a hostile home can be seriously detrimental to children. If you and your spouse are hostile toward one another, your children may develop of fear of being home. Children should never be exposed to hostility. The divorce process can be detrimental to them as well, but likely not half as detrimental than being afraid of home or being afraid of you or your spouse because of the hostility they witness.

“After my first wife and mother of my five children left us permanently, I felt like going through divorce was the worst thing that could happen to a family. So when my second marriage was falling apart, as my kids sole and single parent, I was desperate to protect them from the trauma of another divorce. As a result, I kept the family in a situation that wasn’t good for any of us. The reality is, the worst thing for your children is for them to live in a hostile home and have them see you unhappy. My life and my children’s’ lives have gotten better and happier with each passing day after the divorce.” ― Matt Sweetwood 

There’s A Difference Between Loneliness & Solitude

Solitude is much different than loneliness. Many revel in solitude. Loneliness, on the other hand, tends to hurt emotionally. However, if you’re in a bad marriage, you’re likely already lonely as your spouse isn’t giving you the attention you desire. Divorce won’t make you more lonely. What it will do, however, is give you solitude. This solitude may give you the space you need to evaluate your life and plan for a new future.

“My divorce helped me discover the gift of solitude when I once experienced the pain of loneliness. Now that I’ve learned to enjoy being alone, I’m free from that awful feeling of separation that comes from being with the wrong person.” ― Tammy Letherer

A Bad Marriage Might Be Stifling Your Personal Growth

When you’re stuck in a bad marriage, your emotional wellbeing is at stake. A bad marriage may be keeping you from doing the things in life that you want to do or having the things in life that you deserve.

“I feel that divorce should rarely be the first choice because generally the only thing keeping a ‘bad’ marriage from being a ‘good’ marriage is sustained mutual effort. That being said, there are times that divorce is the best choice in order to allow both partners to grow and achieve the life they desire, and in some scenarios, the life they deserve.” ―Derick Turner 

Happier Parents Are Better Parents

This concept is simple – the happier you are, the better of a parent you’ll be. Children can be extremely sensitive to their parents emotions. And when you aren’t happy, it’s hard to be there for your children. You might be too preoccupied with your own unhappiness to be a supportive parent who is there when your child needs you.

“Learning to let go and step into the unknown may be the single most important thing you can do for your own sanity and the sanity of those around you. Divorce proves that you have the courage to live a life of happiness. And if you’re happier, you’ll be a far more effective parent.” ― Carey Fan 

You Can Now Devote Your Life Toward What Makes You Happy

Trying to mend a bad marriage takes a lot of energy. Piecing together what went wrong is a waste of time when a bad marriage cannot be rectified. After a divorce, you can devote your energy toward other aspects of your life that need attention (ie. your children).

“If you have done all the work of trying to make the marriage better and nothing is changing, finding the courage to leave and move forward pays off in the long run. The pay off? You stop putting all your energy into a relationship that no longer works and put more energy into yourself and your kids.” ― Cherie Morris

You Deserve A Partner Who Is Just As Invested In The Relationship As You Are

Don’t fall into the belief that you’ll always invest more time, energy and love in every relationship you have. You may find someone who wants a relationship with you to be successful just as much as you do and devotes all they can to that. Mutual investment is crucial in any relationship.

“Divorce is preferable to a marriage without love. We all deserve to be loved. I never want to be in a marriage where that partnership isn’t sacred and a priority.” ― Carly Israel

You May Be Losing A Spouse, But You’re Gaining Happiness

All in all, a bad marriage will leave you unfulfilled and unhappy. Divorce might be a shock to the system at first, but it’s never too late to turn the page and open up a new chapter in your life.

“Divorce brought me happiness. Life is far too short to spend it immersed in an unhealthy relationship.” ― Nicole Lavery