In divorce mediation, you get to control the outcome of your divorce in an amicable environment. It’s a smoother process than divorce litigation. But when it comes to child custody, emotions can stir and decisions can be difficult to make. It’s important to remember that your co-parenting decisions should always be in your child’s best interest. Before you start your divorce mediation, it’s a good idea to be prepared with a drafted schedule for co-parenting (if you and your spouse are on good enough terms to do so). The more you and your spouse can iron out the details on child custody the less time you’ll spend in mediation sessions debating it. You should also discuss the importance of keeping dialogue regarding the wellbeing, upbringing and future of your child open-minded and amicable. This aspect of divorce really is all about your child’s happiness. Celebrating special occasions are important for them. So you may need to be flexible for special occasions from time to time.

Vacations

Your child should be able to experience vacations with their family. If your spouse’s family loves to go on vacation, consider letting your child go – even if it may disrupt your time with them. Why deprive them the experience of a nice vacation? Be flexible. Don’t be afraid that your child will favor your ex-spouse because they like to vacation. Negative emotions like that aren’t progressive to your child’s happiness.

Holidays

A lot of families are different in the way they celebrate their holidays, especially if they are of different religions. The usual agreement on holidays is to choose an odd or even-numbered year – those will be the years you have your child for particular holidays. Keep in mind that you can be flexible in the future. Say, for example, your spouse’s family isn’t particularly big on Thanksgiving, but your family is. So, you primarily choose to have your child on Thanksgivings. But one year, your ex-spouse’s family decides to have a huge get-together for Thanksgiving. If it’s in the best interest of your child to see your ex-spouse’s side of the family and your ex-spouse would really like to have them over, consider switching and then returning back to your regular schedule.

Birthdays

Both parents should have the right to see their child for a part of their birthday. But it’s difficult to figure out birthdays sometimes, especially when your child’s birthday ends up being on, say, a Wednesday, when they have school. Discuss with your spouse before your divorce mediation what should happen in this scenario. You or your ex-spouse can decide to be flexible and put more time into celebrating your child’s birthday with them the day before or the day after depending on what’s most convenient.

Emergencies

It’s also extremely important that you write in your draft what should happen in case of an emergency. For example, if one of your family members is hospitalized, and you don’t have anyone to take care of your child, you and your spouse would be wise to agree pre-divorce that each of you will take responsibility in this situation and take care of the child.