Divorce attorneys have a keen insight into why couples decide to go their separate ways, handling cases each and every day. They hear similar situations echo throughout the cases they handle, situations that have led to resentfulness in marriages and eventually, divorce. These marital issues are more common than you might think, and according to divorce attorneys, these are the biggest issues…

A Spouse That Doesn’t Help Out With The Kids

Puja A. Sachdev, a divorce attorney in San Diego, California, discusses how she often hears clients professing to the feeling that they don’t “have an equal partner in their marriage, especially when it comes to the responsibility of caring for their children.” She discusses the pressures of having a child, and how when one parent isn’t pulling their weight, resentment can build. This makes perfect sense. When two parents share, to a close degree, their responsibilities with their child, this doesn’t just benefit their child. It benefits each other. Resentments against a seemingly neglectful parent are sure to build when one parent is taking on a significant number of roles while the other doesn’t seem to care.

When Problems Aren’t Talked About

Karen Covy, an attorney and divorce coach in Chicago, Illinois, discusses how the inability to discuss problems in a relationship turns into a snowball effect. When one problem pops up, she explains, and the couple refuses to speak about it, the problem doesn’t just go away. It’s seeded. And then, when another problem comes up, it becomes even harder to talk about that problem since the couple may still hold resentments over their prior issue(s). Eventually, a problem will come along and it will push a couple over the edge so to speak. They’ll be forced to discuss, but it won’t just be about that problem. They’ll be discussing, likely not in a healthy way, a myriad of problems that they’ve been ignoring.

When The Spark Of Sex & Intimacy Dim Out

Lisa Helfend Meyer, an attorney in Los Angeles, California, discusses how a fading sex life and lack of intimacy are two of the biggest complaints she hears from clients looking to divorce. She describes how life can get in the way and creates a gap in a couple’s connection. Couples must always work to keep their intimacy alive, moreover than sex. It’s important that individuals not let their own stress get in the way of a constant connection with their spouses.

Facebook & Old Flames

Douglas Kepanis, an attorney in New York City, describes how Facebook addiction can lead to jealousy and even infidelity. He’s heard clients complain about their spouses getting addicted to social media, and how just one ‘like’ on an ex’s page can spark conversation, leading to a rekindling of an old relationship which can escalate to sexual chats, texting, and ultimately, cheating.

Feeling More Like Roommates Than Spouses

Carla Schiff Donnelly, an attorney in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, describes how many of her clients feel like their spouse is more of a “roommate” than a spouse. One or both spouses simply checks out of the relationship. They stop communicating. And their relationship comes to an end.

Feeling Like A Spouse Is Selfish

Alison Patton, A San Diego-based Divorce Attorney and Mediator, describes how selfishness can manifest itself in many different scenarios. One spouse may be cheap, unreceptive or unwilling to listen, not emotionally present, not sharing responsibilities (such as the responsibilities of raising a child), not being aware of their spouses needs and wants.

Misunderstanding Love Languages

Dennis A. Cohen, an attorney and mediator in Marina del Rey, California, discusses what “love language” is and why it’s so important for two spouses to understand each other’s. Many times, one spouse will see gift-giving and helping out to be an affirmation of his or her love, whereas their spouse may want verbal affirmations, a more loving touch, or quality time. The miscommunication makes both spouses feel unloved and unappreciated.

Feeling Taken For Granted

Randall M. Kessler, an attorney in Atlanta, Georgia, explains how getting married might make an individual believe their spouse is happy with them. They feel safe and less worried about their partner being happy with them. In the beginning of a relationship, there’s a lot of flattery, romance, and extra attention paid toward a significant other as you’re courting them. When you get married, there’s still that expectation for that degree of romance. You can only expect someone to be unhappy if the act of marriage leads to a diminish in romance.